Malaysia

Because we'd been so fired up with 'going to Australia' we probably didn't do too much reading up on Malaysia. The flight was on time and passed without incidence. Expecting to be met at the airport by 'someone' we passed through the exit and scanned the crowd of waiting taxi drivers to see if our name appeared on one of their hand held notice boards. We were in luck and quickly found our man who escorted us out of the airport. He was very polite, spoke some English but he was so poorly dressed my heart went out to him; his suit would have been rejected by any charity shop and as we followed behind him I noticed his shoes were so down at heel and ill fitting it affected how he walked. We'd discussed tipping and Ray was adamant that in Malaysia and Thailand locals would be offended by any gesture of tipping. I thought I'd chance it and when we got to the taxi I gave our man R20 … that's about £3.00. He didn't appear offended, quite the contrary, he seemed pleased and stopped to chat to our taxi driver (they obviously knew one another) before we departed on the one hour drive to our hotel. The taxi driver talked non-stop, advising us where to go, who to trust (no one apparently) and where to keep our cash. After a while I switched off and stared out through the window at the sprawling countryside sitting either side of the busy highway. Kuala Lumpur's road system appears to be fairly well maintained but is completely mental. The whole place is awash with bikes, scooters, mopeds and anything that moves on two wheels and they don't seem to care how close they get. I lost count of the near misses and kept wincing, waiting for the inevitable crash. When we got to our destination Ray decided he should give our taxi man a tip, no doubt his mate had given him the nod that we were okay! Unfortunately, due to our lack of currency knowledge Ray gave him all the local currency he'd got in his pocket, it turned out to be the equivalent of 50p (we worked it out later). The taxi driver probably called him all the tight bastards going.

Our hotel, The Angurr, was described as 'boutique.' On first viewing I'd say it was probably more tragique - A frozen in time, old colonial style hotel overlooking a building site to the side and rear..nice. However, our room situated on the ground floor was fine, complete with wifi; I sent a few emails letting people know we were still alive. After a rest we ventured out into the night looking for food, advised by the lady on reception that good local food was available at the bottom of the road, take a right turn. We did, and ended up running the gauntlet past hordes of street hawkers trying to lure us 'Europeans' into their establishments for food, trinkets and probably a whole lot more, judging by the shortness of the skirts and height of the high heels. After the pristine beauty of Australia, Malaysia was taking a bit of getting used to.

The hotel location was pretty grim. You had to constantly watch your step when out in the street because the uneven pavements were quite dangerous, not to mention the traffic. The stench from some of the street vendors is stomach churning and the general lack of hygiene is something to behold. Tired and disorientated we ended up eating in a street café and my luke warm lamb dish served up on a tin plate (that you'd feed to the dog) was truly horrible. I ate a bit of it mostly because the staff were very friendly and probably knew that we'd wandered in like aimless fools. I didn't want to end up with deli belly. The two meals and a drink cost the equivalent of £4.00.

Day 2: This started off much better and we had breakfast on the roof terrace of the hotel. Fruit, yoghurt and toast and English tea or coffee. It was fine. We walked towards the city centre, less than half and hour, which was a big mistake due to the humidity. By the time we got on the hopper bus we were knackered. The bus is great value and as I've said before it is without question the best way to see a city if you've got limited time. We paid something like £50 in LA for the tour bus. In KL we paid £15. We stopped off at the Botanical Gardens for lunch, which was busy with both tourists and local business people, always a good indication. Malaysia is a mix of of Thai and Chinese and the food reflects this. Ray had satay chicken, which he said was excellent and then he absolutely stank for the rest of the day. I had a salad of some description. My enforced diet was going very well. We got back on the bus and were taken to the Palace where the much revered Royal family live. We got to the Petronis twin towers and got off the bus to take a few pics. I don't know if we were over with travelling but the heat and the humidity were getting us down and we just wanted to go home. But, it wasn't over yet.

That evening we turned left at the top of our smelly, broken down road and found a whole selection of more 'European' type restaurants, serving food I could eat. Ray really wanted to get stuck into the local cuisine, but I think it's best to have someone along to guide you and suggest a few dishes. We found a steak place and it was great, not just with the lovely food, but the service was top notch. Half way through my meal I noted there didn't appear to be many or any women apart from myself and the men dining together were clearly in couples. A gay steak bar; we did have to pay for the privilege of the fine meal, around £40.00 but it was worth every penny.

Day 3: We went into KL and headed for a huge shopping Mall of which there seem to be many, just to get into some kind of air conditioning. The heat is unbearable. The vast malls are beautiful and would look at home in any first rate city; London, New York, Paris. But, they appeared to be empty. Barely anyone in there. Every high street name you could mention was represented and their prices were not cheap. Who were these shopping malls for? Not the local population that's for sure.

I booked myself in for a Thai Massage at our hotel in the afternoon. I tried to encourage Ray but he said he'd give it a miss. The small woman aged about 40 guided me into a darkened room with a dim light and a mattress on the floor. Nothing fancy. However, she proceeded to give me a massage the like of which I'd never experienced before and the unimaginative, dingy surroundings didn't match up to her obvious expertise in the art of massage. I believe she gave me a shiatsu massage, followed by aromatherapy. The fat owner of the hotel appeared to be running the massage business on the side and I dare say my masseuse was paid a pittance. I left her a hefty tip, discreetly.

I don't think we were in the right frame of mind to appreciate all that Kuala Lumpur had to offer but it did give us a sample of what we were about to encounter when we hit Bangkok.